I have been trying to journal or blog as I feel God speaking to me especially lately. I would love to keep this blog as a great reminder of the many ways the Lord spoke to us during this time.. This is one of those posts to remind me. So sorry if it might come across cheesy, but it’s how I am feelin, what can I say!
If you are a parent, you know that completing a thought can be hard, to say the least. I recently got the opportunity to do just that!
But let me backup.. Saturday, I was blessed to have a girls day away with Ava. It was so fun. We spent 3 hours driving to Homecoming at IWU (Michael and I’s alma mater.) Go Wildcats!
Once we got there we met up with my friends (who have children who are Ava’s friends), we attended a birthday party for one of our favorite 5 year olds, and Ava and I even got to ride in a dune buggy for a parade! It was a great day. I will post photos soon..
Back to the complete thoughts. On our late drive home, Ava conked out somewhere around Richmond, IN at about 10 pm. I had a whole quiet hour in the car myself. That is a treasure! Although I loved talking to my girl, I was ready for some quiet.
While driving I thought about meeting Michael at IWU in 1999. I thought about us as youngsters.. We were good friends for a long time before we dated. I teased him about his hair (it was horrible by the way, sorry babe 😉 ) He made fun of me because I didn’t know how to put gas in my car (I know, pathetic.) I love that we were friends before we ever dated..
This was weeks after dating, I think? Ahhh, young love. I couldn’t help but think about the life that God had planned for us back then and how we couldn’t have imagined how blessed we would be 12 years later. We were totally clueless to the many blessings God had in store for us. We couldn’t have dreamed that we could love each other more than we loved ourselves in that moment; We certainly couldn’t picture 3 little people that would cause us to love so deeply that we would be willing to give up our own lives to save and protect them. We didn’t consider that we would grow in love through various disappointments and trials over the years. And certainly didn’t understand that together we would know and experience the love of our Father through all the tough times and come to know Him in a deeper way.
In the car, I felt this overwhelming thankfulness for a life I don’t deserve and for a Father who loves me when I am unlovable. I though about Michael who begged me to date him (true story!) and how backwards that was. I certainly am the lucky one. I thought about my 3 sweet kiddos and how they are more than I could ever ask for.
So, I have talked about songs and their significance. There is a song that always makes me crumble. Want to see me cry? Just play this one and watch me fall into a million tiny pieces..
I think about my kiddos when I hear this one. How I would do anything to help them, protect them, to guard their little hearts and to fill them with joy. We all know that I could never truly “fix them,’ but by golly I would try.. and I will always point them to the One who always can. So I popped it in the cd player on that dark drive home. And I cried and cried, but this time for another reason. I heard the song as though it was written from my Savior to me. And I remembered His love for me. I was so thankful for that quiet time to think and pray and I was thankful that He used that time to remind me of his love….