Hey everyone.. Still waiting here. Our expected one week wait for TA, turned into 2, and this Thursday will mark 3 weeks.
I think what has been hardest for me (Mary) is knowing that we sent him a letter a couple months ago telling him we were coming. Who knows if they read it to him or not, but I think about it everyday that we are delayed in our travel. We sent him a photo album with our photos. I wonder what goes through his mind? Does he get it at all?
I think about him growing, changing, and developing and I am sad to miss any and all of it. I know that one day, this will fade away in my memory, just as my memories of stressful pregnancies, painful labor, and recovery are all a small blip on my radar. Such a small price to pay for the beautiful children that I get to soak in each day. This will happen again, yes it will! But for now, we are in the thick of it..
Feeling sad doesn’t mean we doubt our God. We still trust! We know He’s got this. We know He’s sovereign. He is good!
Here are a few verses that we have been clinging to while we wait.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalms 34:18
God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. 9 The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.-1 Peter 1:6-9
And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. Phillippians 4:19
So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most. Hebrews 4:14-16
Thanks for all of you who have been praying, sending us verses, and encouraging us. Thank you to those who have been incredibly sensitive to us and our aching hearts these last couple of weeks. We started this process one and a half years ago and it has been 7 months since we first saw our little Jude’s face. We are ready to start counting the days he’s with us now… So we pray that it’s so soon.
I recently read an old blog entry from Jen Hatmaker, who so eloquently writes a bit of what she took away from some tough times in her own adoption experience (and life in general.) :
“God doesn’t promise us a clean middle part of the story. He never said we wouldn’t encounter antagonists and drama and surprise twists and heartbreak. We weren’t assured a G-rated plot where good feelings are peddled and no one dies or leaves or fails or waits. God promised things like healing and restoration and redemption. Which implies there will be injuries and broken relationships and losses. When he speaks of beauty from ashes, he seems to know there will be actual ashes to resurrect beauty from.
If you are confused right now, if your story isn’t going the way you thought, or if you’re tangled up in the messy middle where hope is deferred, dear reader, it could just be that God isn’t done yet. Your story is not finished. Every hero and heroine must wade through the conflict to get to the end, and you can trust God because he is good. If you have nothing else to cling to, remember this: God is good. He loves goodness and justice. He heals and redeems. He is on the side of love and beauty. He is for you. He is never against you. You may be against you, other people may be against you, but God is not against you.
It is okay to be confused; I’m afraid that is our lot as finite creatures dealing with an infinite God. Some of God’s best heros were confused in their subplots. But I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on. Because God is good and he is for goodness.”
AMEN to that!
** We are aching for Jude to come home, but we are still having lots of fun with the kids here in the meantime and soaking in family time before we travel. Here is an example of some of the shenanigans the kids have been up to lately. (This was all their idea by the way!)
Love you guys!