Let’s get “REAL”

Thanks so much for checking in here. It brings us so much comfort to know that people back home are thinking of us and praying for us.

Last night we went to the hotel park and met some other adoptive parents and kiddos from a different group. We all started talking about the complexities of this process and the challenges we were all facing during this transition. No pretending things were perfect, no faking it. There is no use trying such things here, as we all in the same boat, and know better. It was quite therapeutic, to be honest. One lady told us how her 7 year old son threw a screaming fit in the toy store. I was so sad for her, but thankful for her vulnerability to tell me how hard it is. Another couple piped in about their 1 year old and how they can’t seem to soothe his cries.  We met another family today that are dealing with many of the same issues that we are with their 3 year-old. Again, I thought “thank you God for allowing us to run into these people!” We needed to hear that we aren’t alone. At the elevator, we ran into a lady who told us their new son was a “dream” and that he is her 6th and easiest baby. Hmm, I guess that does happen sometimes?! We mustered up the strength to be happy for her 🙂

Our travel group is awesome. They continue to tell us that Jude’s fits don’t bother them. (Not sure if they really mean it, but they are good at lying if they do.) Going through this with other families is such a blessing.

Today was supposed to be “Zoo Day,” and everyone was traveling by subway at 10am. By 9:55am he he had had 3 big fits. Michael and I  look at each other, “Is this a good idea today?”

I pointed to the stroller, “Do you want to go for a ride?”

He shook his head a big “NO,” while crying. I pick up his shoes to show him and he knocks them out of my hand in defiance.

I guess that’s our answer.

After going to the lobby to let our group know that we would have to pass on the zoo, I traveled up the elevator, walked into the room, heard him still screaming and  just lost it. Tears flowed for the first time after 10 challenging days since we left home. One can only be strong for so long, and I had reached my limit.

So, what’s the point of this post, you might ask. It’s so depressing.. show me the photos of the smiling toddler!

The reason I wanted to type this post is to remind ourselves of this someday when we are well adjusted and thriving. To remember how God brought us through and how He will do it again over and over though out our various struggles in life.

A couple of months ago, we got the opportunity to share our adoption story with a large group of friends.  One of the things we shared was how God clearly asked us to do this. ..To come to China and to adopt a special needs orphan. We pointed out-there is nothing special about us.. we are broken and weak people merely trying our best to follow Jesus and do what he has  asked of us. We fail all the time, We need Him.

A year and a half after He called us, here we are, still broken and weak, but still following and still trusting.. at times we feel like we are crawling along… We are desperately clinging to Him this week. He’s here with us and He’s helping us.

I am reminded of this song:

LORD I NEED YOU

Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without you I fall apart
You’re the one that guards my heart

Lord I need you oh I need you
Every hour I need you
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God how I need you

Where sin runs deep your grace is more
Where grace is found is where you are
And where you are Lord I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord I need you oh I need you
Every hour I need you
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God how I need you

Teach my song to rise to you
When temptation comes my way
When I cannot stand I’ll fall on you
Jesus you’re my hope and stay

Lord I need you oh I need you
Every hour I need you
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God how I need you

You’re my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God how I need you
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God how I need you

Amen! Keep praying us through! Pray that little Jude would feel peace in his heart and that we would have strength and confidence as his parents. We are so thankful that we can share openly for you all to pray! We’re not big on “blowing sunshine!” Thanks for allowing us to be “real.” Hoping for some cute and happy Jude photos tomorrow! Love you all!

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6 responses to “Let’s get “REAL”

  1. We so understand your situation! But your attitude that God led you to do this and he will lead you home and onto easier days, is one we continue to pray. Its not easy, but Jude is blessed with such great parents and you are blessed to have him. Things will improve, usually when you least expect it. We will continue to pray for all of you

  2. Those will be healing tears! Let it Rain! You have many of us that are shedding those tears right along with you. Thank you for sharing your journey. Know that your strength and faith are inspiring! Ken and I are praying for all of you. Love, Shelley

  3. Well written guys! We will be praying for you all the more as you get through this final week before you come home… And we know in trust as you mentioned that God has called you to do this and will equip you for every day ahead. You are just what Jude needs, weaknesses in all…In His sovereignty He choose you & Michael to be Jude’s earthly parents! Keep being strong in the Lord; His strength is made perfect in your weaknesses.

  4. First of all, I love this song, for lots of reasons. Second, there is so much beauty and FREEDOM in an authentic life before others. He loves you, He sees you, He bends down to help you and gently wipe your tears. God is using your weaknesses and brokenness to make you a vessel for Him. He made you to be Jude’s parents. Keep surrendering all control to Him. He is taking the reigns on this. I find it fitting you posted that you “are desperately clinging to Him”. As I prayed this morning, the Lord directed me to pray Psalm 91 over your family. “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’ Psalm 91:1-2

  5. Oh Mary and Michael- I lift you up in prayer. You are so strong- traveling around the world to open your arms to little Jude. God led you there- this song came to mind today and I thought of you:

    You Lead- by Jamie Grace (refrain)
    You lead, I’ll follow, Your hands hold my tomorrow,
    Your grip, Your grace, You know the way,
    You guide me tenderly,
    When you lead, I’ll follow,
    Just light the way and I’ll go,
    Cause I know what you got for me is more then I can see,
    So lead me on, on, on, on and on,
    Just lead me on, on, on and on,

    Having a two year old is challenging day to day- having a two year old who is adjusting to a new environment and language- is even more challenging. God is filling you with love and strength to stand up to this challenge and love this little boy with a love he has never known. Jude will know the love of Christ because of you.

    The Palassis family lifts you up in prayer daily!!

    Ava and Jesse should receive a care package from Niko soon 🙂

    Love,
    Ally

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